Quotes

I’ve been reading a lot (more than usual), and have two awesome quotes that really got me through a shit weekend…

“The deep ‘I’ of 

the spirit, of solitude, and love, cannot be ‘had’, possessed, developed, perfected.  It can only be and act according to the inner laws which are not of man’s 

contriving but which come from God.  They are the Laws of the Spirit who, like the wind, blows where He will.  This inner ‘I,’ who is always alone, always universal:  for in the inmost ‘I’ my solitude meets the solitude of every other man, and the solitude of 

God.  Hence it is beyond division, beyond limitation, beyond selfish affirmation.”

Thomas Merton

And then  this. 

“’Happy,’ I muttered, trying to pin the word down.  But it is one of those words, like Love, that I have never quite understood.  Most people who deal in words don’t have much faith in them and I am no exception – especially the big ones like Happy and Love and Honest and Strong.  They are too elusive and far to relative when you compare them to sharp, mean little words like Punk and Cheap and Phony.  I feel at home with these, because they’re scrawny and easy to pin, but the big ones are tough and it takes either a priest or a fool to use them with any confidence.”

Hunter S. Thompson 

They are two quotes that perfectly express the two sides of how I feel these days.  Alone, but with God, and totally distrusting of the “high minded” ideals of love, and respect and honesty.  That was what I forgot earlier, was how to be loving, respectful, and trusting of another human being that I’m supposed to be all of those things to.  So now I’m looking to the future and wondering how to proceed and realizing that I need God to be my rebound relationship (not that I won’t maybe take a nice young lady out on a date or two if the opportunity arises).  I need to have that relationship where I can learn to be all of those things, and when I fuck it up, the recipient of my imperfect love won’t lash out and remind me of what a failure I am.  The only way I’m going to work as a real person in the real world is if I am open to those gifts of His relationship with me, and hopefully someday with someone else.  And because I would like that to happen, that openness to His gifts to me, I really don’t want to fall into comfort only with those easy to pin down things.  I want to reconnect with the real hard words and ideas.  To seek out what they really mean to me, and what they really should be for me in a relationship. 

Post Under Virtue