This Second.

I feel haunted by this very moment.

The air is fresh and clean.

It is spring time in the city and I can't shake the feeling that I want to be in your arms. That I want you so much that it hurts a little bit. That there is an ache and a desire there that just keeps growing.

The cars pass by on Washington as Al Green softly plays on my stereo.

And everything is right with the world.

I have turned the TV off. Put away the books. Stopped working on projects. And have just decided to sit and look out the window while the world passes by.

Would you be content with a moment like this.

Soft music, people watching, fuck not even people watching, passing car watching. There is nothing happening, there is no exciting story here. No barroom brawl, broken light fixture, or punch to the face. Just quiet and solitude.

Some how I think that you would. And that you wouldn't ruin the solitude part. That somehow your presence at this very moment would make the moment feel more real without making it feel crowded.

A few days ago Mi. and I are walking out of work. He is going to give me a ride and we get into his Explorer or whatever it is. He sits down and rolls down his window, and in his accent says, "We gotta do something different today." He opens the sun roof on his car.

This is the same moment. I've been living in that moment for a few days now. Taking in sun and warm and beauty.

I'm writing this for you. You know who you are. And I want you to know this right now: As I look out the window at nothing more than passing cars, the occasional scene kid, and the brick wall of the building next door, all of these Al Green songs are talking about you. And I want you to be here curled in my lap in the chair like you tend to do. I want to wrap my arms around you and be silent. The passing cars hiss, a siren now and then, or an errant voice. Nothing more or less than this kind of simplicity that I know we both crave.

My man Al says, "Let's stay together." I couldn't agree more.

Now mind you, this isn't meant to make you feel guilty, or sad.

Don't take it that way.

I just know that I won't be talking to you on the phone tonight, I know that I can't text this whole idea, and that chat is a useless medium to me a lot of the time. I just wanted you to know that I'm still thinking about you. And that it gets my mind moving the same way it always has, and that sometimes writing in a little red notebook is great, but it won't get read by you nearly soon enough.

This is the best and fastest way to tell you.

I've fallen for you.

Now the world knows.

Or at least the three people that read this fucking thing.

I know that the world would have you bide your time elsewhere and I understand that. I've come to terms that I have to take what I can get. And I've come to terms with the impermanence of things as a whole. Its just that...

...

...This second would be better with you.

Nearly every second would be better with you.

That was way less obscure than I normally write. But tonight. Who gives a fuck? Not me.

I'm going to go back to watching out the window. Turn up the Al Green a little bit, who cares about the neighbors, its not like it is Doomriders. Who knows maybe I will see you coming up the block?

File under both.