White christmas.

Those of you who know me well, know that I hate snow.

Tonight may have changed my mind.

The van is pulling up to the Light Rail at Arapahoe, full of men that have come to be comrades in the strictest sense. They are men that I have worked with and joked with, that I have been annoyed and blessed by. They are my Bell Ringing Brethren. And when I get out of the van knowing I won't see many of them ever again. I'm a bit sad.

But then I turn the corner.

Snow blankets the station. And the lit fountain looks magical.

I suddenly feel that child like awe that I used to have with snow. I get a running start and try to slide across the concrete. I almost fall, but it makes me giggle.

For a moment I wonder where all this joy and happiness is coming from.

Then I stop and just enjoy it. Sometimes the thinking has just got to go.

Light Rail to Broadway then the 0 to my streets.

Waiting for the bus to come at the station me and the other two guys three guys that are standing there begin to talk politics and jobs (or the lack thereof), and one of the guys says, "What the world needs is more politicians that are going to actually do what Obama said he was going to do."

I hear it come out of my mouth, in a way that it hasn't for a long time, "What we need is no more fucking governments. People can take care of themselves."

"Oh I don't want to hear that bullshit," says the guy, "That kind of talk is the road anarchy."

"Exactly."

I realized in that moment that a big part of why I was so happy is that for once in my life I am in control of how and why I make money. I'm stepping out of this system the best way that I know how, and that puts the power back in my hands. No politician, no real boss that I can't just walk away from, nothing is holding me down or back. I'm a free man. For the first time in a really long time. And with that freedom comes the need to share it.

It is the "Joy of the Lord," that they tell you about in sunday school. Where you are full of a new kind of life, and you NEED to tell other people about it. With boldness and happiness. Right now I have that joy that says, "What is so different about that guy, I want to live like that." And all I can do is tell them, "For once I am free, and it is because I gave up on the world. I don't need what it is selling. I have everything that I need in the palm of my hands, because it was given to me. And I don't owe anyone shit for it."

One of the guys had just gotten out of prison that night, he was making his way from Pueblo to East Colfax to start a new life, or at least what I hopes is a new life. I tried to help him. So did another guy, and the excon says, "It is nice to meet some nice people for once, seems like there aren't a lot out there anymore."

I say, "There are more of us than you would think."

And then it happens. This may be the moment that I was looking for that night without even knowing it. The bus is going and it is running early. As it pulls up to a stop light a guy comes up and knocks on the door. The snow had started coming down in earnest, and the temperature had fallen into the teens. So the bus driver ignores him. Pretends like he doesn't exist. When the light turns the guy stands in front of the bus, and all I can think is, "Fuck yes, stand there till you get a ride!"

The driver yells at him, and the guy moves, I pull the cord for the next stop.

The driver pulls over and I tell him, "I'm getting off here, because I would rather ride on the next bus than ride with an asshole like you. All that guy wanted was a ride, not giving it to him is pretty fucked up."

"You are more then welcome to do that," the driver repeats three times while I'm talking to him, some corporate stooge mantra. Bullshit party line stuff.

As I stand at the stop I realize that I'm maybe 15 blocks from home, and I decide to walk. I'm bundled up enough that I know I won't really get cold, and so I just start walking. And as I walk I realize that I did something, but I didn't do enough (and probably couldn't ever do enough). I could have stood in front of the bus and waited till the guy was let on, or they called the cops. What are the cops going to do? Arrest me for being a human being, I'd be proud of that!

If I tell RTD they will give me company policy, and tell me that if they make one exception then they have to make them all. I say let there be exceptions. Let there be derivation, humanity, compassion, knowledge that reality means that sometimes there is no route or schedule. So I walk. And even though the guy trying to get a ride doesn't know it, it is in solidarity with him. It is an afront to what is expected and I wouldn't have it any other way.

As I walk I pass Quality Hill Park. Where my kids and I played tag the last time they were at my house. I miss them, and want to run around in the snow with them right now, and though I know that I will see them soon. The moment is a little bitter sweet because I know that right now I'm trying to make this world a better place for them. And that one day when it is, I will be able to explain to them why I wasn't around as much as I would have liked.

Right now I walk in solidarity with them too.

It is christmas eve, and I'm about to go out with some friends to celebrate, we'll call it church tonight, and to all of you out there that are Living Proof and 92 Proof at that, to those of you that are 1% and no better, to those of you who live to walk with this Road Agency, to any other misfit, hooligan, thief, beggar, warrior poet: I raise my glass and toast:

"To a better world. To free men."

File under Virtue.