This is For You. Only for you. I hope they are the first thing you see in the morning.
Will anybody listen to my story
About the Girl who came to stay
She's the kind of girl you love so bad it makes you sorry
But I don't regret a single day.
- Lennon/McCartney
Every single night I sing those lines to my kids.
Every night.
And I mean them every time.
My heart skips a beat every time.
Every time.
And when I think about what those words mean to me. I can almost feel you next to me. I can almost hear your soft breath on my neck. I can almost touch your face again. Wiping away each tear until you have no more left. And when you say to me that you would never want to stay with me through the night because you would just cry. I want nothing more than to hold you closer.
This may not be the worst of it.
But I can handle worse than this.
I didn't get the chance to hear you tell me all these things the last time. So even in the pain of it, I can only feel hope, and relief. Because I can know what demon I'm fighting. I can know how much I have to give you, and how much more I will always be willing to give.
It may be hard for me sometimes.
But you are worth it.
You are always worth it. You will never stop being worth it.
Just remember, Ja.'s and my conversation. When you don't think that I have more to give. Think about that. Think about these two dangerous men talking about what forever means to them. And trust me that though I love to flaunt big words and grand ideas. This is one that isn't a joke. It is Serious Fucking Business.
No matter what you have to do.
No matter what.
It will work out.
It will be OK.
You and me and the Devil make three.
File under the hardest kind of Virtue. The kind that doesn't give up.
9 comments:
This is the first thing I saw.
Thank you.
I would have wondered endlessly last night had you not saved me.
I really don't know what else I can say except thank you. This demon of mine will not win.
I am not going. I can not go.
I will not, even for a moment, walk away from you.
And know that even if you have to. I will still be here.
precursor to reading my comment... you have to believe i am not a jerk, believe blieve believe. i totally buy into real love totally believe you have some. but when a mate hangs his nuts out there someone has theobligation to kick'em. yup that would be me.
Damn it G. i thought this was about me and the jail house ass ramming we do, ya know just the point where you grab the hair on the back of my head and whisper in my ear that i am a filthy whore and then i smile and say i know...
I will devise a way to work you in. Also some Serious Fucking Business.
You didn't know that you would have to share me with him, did you. LOL!
I wasn't planning on it. But if he is as great as you tell me. . .
:)
I can't help but laugh at that!
lol all i can think of right now is you and me g. doing the end show of Requim for a dream... "ass to Ass" for a pile of sin. hahaha i chuckle through my haze, my car is short.
Good god, J.
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