Virtue and Vice: My tension.

I could make my life simpler by not writing here I bet.

But I don't want to do that.

I picked the name X-Ray Style for my blog for a reason.

I want to be transparent to the people that I love. That has been one of the biggest struggles in my life. Hiding behind my own face when it comes to how I feel, what I worry about, what I'm actually thinking.

I think it is part of why I guard this so closely from people that I don't know if I can trust. I want you readers to know that even though this is for me. It helps me know you. From every snide comment, to every uplifting word, you are my family. You are the people that I love. The people that I want to keep around.

That doesn't mean this isn't tense for me some time. There are things here that I'm not sure that I want to share with all of you. Or things that I worry may get me in trouble with one person or the other. But then I think about it again.

I've never been the best at being honest. I've never been the best at being authentic, transparent. X-Ray Style. And so I write it down. Knowing full well that one of you may think I've finally lost it. Or that I'm to wrapped up in myself.

I guess I just wanted to say that.

That is my tension.

File under Virtue.

About

The blog is called Virtue and Vice. It is my challenge to myself. A chance for me to write about whatever I fell like writing about in the hopes that I will one day get to a place where I'm comfortable with my choices and my faith.

I make no excuses for what I write. It is how I see things, it is how I feel, and it is the ultimate extension of selfishness. Plain and simple this is more for me, than it is for you. I like to share it rather sparingly with the world, but at this point it matters very little. The fact that it is here at all is all that matters anymore. Because it means that I'm still witting out my struggles with faith, and life, when for a while there I didn't even think that I had faith or life anymore.

I write what I feel, what I hope, what I think. Nothing more nothing less.

If you don't like it, change the proverbial channel.

If you know who these people are. Don't be a jerk about it. Just let them be.

-G.

4 comments:

J. said...: i can dig it brother, i may be whacked out on pain or painkillers or mind fuck rot that i got but i can believ ein you. i will never betray your honesty and will defend you and yours with everything i have. if i need to burn down my house with everything in it save my mutts and A. then i will do it for you. if i gotta kick some morons teeth in or pick some dude up who is beat to shambles then i will. 1% for the rest of my life, every minute every day. every bloody second.; December 3, 2008 at 2:33 PM
Gabe said...: In that vein. They want me to do an interview on cutting for Group Publishing. LOL!

1% for life.; December 3, 2008 at 2:35 PM
J. said...: dude it would be rad if they would do an article on real hard core christians, group does lots of good things, and i think it is time for them to do something that ventures into the 1%; December 3, 2008 at 4:18 PM
Gabe said...: As a side not. I talked to J.N. today and he supports us starting our own splinter group of his group.

1% church is that much closer to reality.; December 3, 2008 at 8:36 PM

Virtue and Vice

My tension.

4 comments:

"As God's children, we crawl before no one."

About Me