hope is the evidence of things unseen, as long as there is hope the thing exists if only in a small way
It is a simple one sentence e-mail. No punctuation. No capitalization. Simple, beyond simple, and saying a lot.
This friend of mine J. (not the one I normally write about if you are confused), sent me this as we talked about shit over e-mail, and all day it has subtly blown my mind. Can hope make something real? Is the idea just as valid as the object? Is the power of word, and thought stronger than I think it is.
J. thinks that it is. I'm not sure if I think that it is.
My main problem with this idea is that no matter how much I dedicate my thoughts and heart to accomplishing something, there is always that chance that I will not accomplish or succeed. Just because I hope for something, it doesn't mean that it is true.
All be it there are some moments of synchronicity in my life that would tend to dispute this.
For example: At one point in J. (the one I normally write about) and my relationship we were struggling, something that would eventually come to its fullest fruition. I was desperate for that kind of human contact that I seem to desire so much. A smile, a kind word, anything that would make me not rage, or sob softly my self loathing.
All I could think about was that first serious relationship. This girl named S. I had loved her so desperately, as only a young man can. So in this uncharacteristically teenage mental hissy fit I thought to myself, "I wish I could just see S. I would talk to her and woo her and destroy J. with the fact that I left her and found someone else, and fuck her!"
And walking out of the Wal-Mart as I walked in, S. My heart leaped into my throat, and I said, "Hey S."
"Oh hey, G."
That was it.
So maybe that is hope manifesting itself.
But then the idea is. Say hope is manifesting itself in that moment. What about S.? Was she hoping for me? Or is it just happenstance for her?
If I am able to hope things into existence, is the weekend with the girl from my dreams happening somewhere? Is the hope in my mind just as real as the physical world?
That is one that I can't seem to figure out.
But that doesn't mean it isn't worth thinking about.
File under Virtue (because of J.'s blatant hope that the things he hopes for are real).
4 comments:
i am honored to be recorded in this blog, thank you. with logic the prevailing wind i can not help but to agree with your assesment. i do not understand fully what i said, those words were from the place under the water and the rocks, the place of deeper still. it is hard for me to disolve the bond i have with the words long enough to measure them. in holding the waters back long enough i agree it may not always physically manifest. i do not know. it parries into the bigger discussion of reality, if even the small part of what lives in hope exists only inside us as a dream or vision then it exists. existential? yes. probably impracticle for feeding the hungry? unfortunately so. but irreplacable in my psyche? absolutely. without the architecture of hope i would fall apart. even if my hope is pure dillusion it is the skeletan for my world.
So while you look existentaly at this idea of hope manifesting. I'm looking at it literally. I can see where we would diverge then on our ability to accept the ideal that hope can present. I want my hope to build in some cosmic way into reality. You are just content with hope.
which leads then into the question of what is real, a long question that i am not drunk enough to have (at least not right now!)
That is a whole other post.
Post a Comment