On French Films and Dire Needs

I won't let rum, light headiness from to many Lucky Strikes and midnight stop me.

This is one that I have to get out.

Went to the K. tonight. It is quite possibly my favorite place to go. A combination of independent film, plush seating and booze makes the place really make the grade for me (if I didn't specifically choose to write anonymously for this I would be plugging it all the time). But let's start at the beginning.

Somehow band practice went pear shaped, and I didn't have to go tonight. I found myself with no responsibility and the chance to spend some time alone. But my patent fear of being alone swayed me and I began to reach out to some of the people that are willing to hang out with me.

A text to D., one to A., and a phone call to S.

Yeah I'm kind of sad I know.

Well D. got back to me and suggested a beer. I'm not one to say no to that. So I went and got him from work, and then we made our way to the K. So here is the thing. If you follow these postings at all, you may have come across the other D. The female one that I am quite taken by. She works at the K. it may in fact be part of the reason that I like the place so much (aside from the ones listed above). Well she was working tonight. And as usual (at least the times I have had a chance to interact with her), she was quite kind.

And I'm not the only one that notices.

The other D. noticed too.

I talked about it quite a bit. In between all the times she came over to talk. And I may be imagining things but I think I caught a smile from her from across the room too. I may be insane. All the while her boyfriend is chatting with us. And the worst part is that he is a decent guy. But I want to ruin his relationship and steal his woman. That makes me evil, I'm sure of it.

So tonight I had planned on going to the movie. So when D. (the one that I went with) left, I decided to sit next to the fire, read a book, sip some rum, and wait for the film (a couple of hours, but it is a lounge, no big deal). When I got the chances to get up and get more to drink, I talked with her. And she was very quick to engage in conversation, even when it wasn't convenient for her. She comped a drink, gave me a discount on the movie ticket, I'm reading to much into this. Because I'm that guy.

I'm the one that obsesses over the slightest kindness. I'm the one that can't help but wondering what you think of me. I'm the one that people are annoyed with because I'm always asking if you are OK. I kind of hate being that person. But I find this woman attractive, and I can't help but wonder.

I know that nothing will come of it. Because they are happy together, and I'm just projecting my idiotic loneliness onto her kindness (that probably has more to do with her being a great waitress and knowing how to run a table for a good tip than anything else).

So I watched the French film.

It took my mind off of the whole thing.

Mostly.

File under Vice.