...I wake up and hate the world.
Somedays...
...I wake up with Jackson 5 and The Aggrolites running through my brain.
Today was a Jackson 5 kind of day. I'm strangely hopeful, and in a good mood. Still not really sleeping but moving from Bukowski to Bourdain has taken an edge off of my cynicism and added this strange kind of curiosity that I love sometimes.
I can only hope that the mood holds for the entire day while I move through the streets looking for a job. I have some good leads, and my feet will run roughshod over the sidewalks moving from place to place. I want to live here, in this living breathing deadly place.
It wants to keep a piece of me here. To taunt me with all of its delights and business, to cut out my heart and say, "You were so fucking close to it all, but I will not let you have it. You aren't good enough for this city." That is what this place says to me, and instead of rolling over like I'm so prone to doing, I just feel this need to solider on, to push myself into finding a way to survive here. I will make this place my home if I have to give a pound of flesh.
I have some fighter in me still...
As Ja. would say, "Irish blood, English heart, this is what I'm made of. And there is no one in this world I'm afraid of."
Fuck if I don't like Morrissey now because of that bastard.
There is more to my mind today, but I think I'll keep that in the note books and let people read them some other time. Today I just want to ride this wave of, "Fuck it I win."
I need that arrogance to get me through some times.
I'm a monster. With the ability to create other monsters. And my army will rule the world.
And to top it all off Friday is Patrick's with Da.
It will be world changing.
Short post today, get over it Ja.
File under the most blatant kind of Virtue imaginable.
4 comments:
It was short but said what it needed to - when i said the first blog back was thin i didn't mean in terms of word count - i meant it as though the sheets are thin on a cold winter's night. it didn't have the same ruxe thicking stock as this post or the other more recent ones - which i will comment on but haven't been able to yet. i like this one, like a lot of things today too - hopeful pain. it is in my arm on my right wrist in my fingertips, in my elbow my shoulder and my neck - yesterday was my face and head - no one on earth i am afraid of.
No one on earth we are afraid of.
double bir-
DAMN!
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